Have you ever been the only one not to laugh at an "inside joke?" Perhaps the group didn't intend to exclude you. You simply didn't have the same shared experiences to understand why the joke was considered to be funny.Have you ever felt like an outsider in your church? I did after I arrived at seminary in St. Paul, Minnesota. Norwegian, Swedish and Danish Lutheran culture was new to me. I had never heard an Ole and Lena joke. I had never heard of, let alone taste, lutefisk. Or lefse. Or fruit soup. I had grown up surrounded by Lutherans of German stock, whose cultural heritage had been muted through the generations, and by non-ethnic Lutherans. My paternal heritage was Scottish and Irish. I'm not exactly the typical Lutheran, but I never knew it until I wasn't laughing at the inside jokes.
Have you ever felt like an outsider in your own congregation? I was thinking about this recently when I preached for a congregation's 150th anniversary. I was the outsider trying to look in. My sermon focused on how the Holy Spirit had been at work for the past 150 years and is continuing to work, carrying the congregation into the future in new and exciting ways. It was quite a contrast to an anniversary sermon I heard on the radio. It was preached by a former pastor of the congregation. It seemed to be a message for insiders. It was a message that certainly excluded me. I wondered how I would have felt sitting in a pew as a newcomer, guest or recent new member.
Do you have stories of your own? Have you ever felt like an outsider in a congregation? Do you have suggestions to make our congregations more open to those of us who have felt excluded?
Mike Krupa, St. Paul, Oregon: In my gov't career, I moved several times. Before that, my Dad's job moved the family several times. I know what it's like to be an outsider at school, in a community, and in a church. It is painful. At Peace Lutheran, Alexandria, VA, one lady took me under her "wing" and showed me around the facility, introduced me to the pastor and others, and she & her husband sat with me for the first service I attended there in 1991. WHAT A DIFFERENCE SHE MADE in how I felt about attending a strange church in a strange, new community!! I've been 'cold-shouldered' MANY times at churches I've visited when I've moved to new cities looking for a church 'home'. Being welcomed THE VERY FIRST MINUTE of walking into a church makes all the difference in the world, to me. To me. I'm an introvert, so that may skew my perception of feeling like an "outsider" at a church. Having differing viewpoints on various topics discussed at Adult Forums, etc., can be a MAJOR problem, UNLESS folks respond to the discussion points and not me, personally. BOTTOM LINE: Welcome everyone as fellow brothers & sister in Christ. Love them as Christ loved all of us. Treat them as you would want to be treated.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I've attended Evangelism events and heard that visitors decide in 8 MINUTES whether or not they will return, & that includes time parking the car!! I've also been told that some people want to remain anonymous the first time visiting a church. I can respect that; but I did say I was an introvert & very much appreciated someone caring enough to show me around and introduce me to people. I've also heard that, at New Member events, people don't like having all the committees & choirs, etc. present; they don't want to commit to joining anything right then. I disagree. I appreciated being welcomed in by the various groups at a church (OK, so I'm a 'joiner'). It also let me know what was available at the church and put faces & names together. I've also heard that getting a new member involved in at least one group aids in their coming back . Those are some of my thoughts. Others?