Funeral Liturgy

I attended a memorial service this week at a United Methodist congregation. As an outsider I felt pretty comfortable. The guest book was in a prominent location. A representative of the funeral home told me where to sit. In the service itself, the only thing that was not printed in either the bulletin or the hymnal was the Lord’s Prayer. The pastor began, “Our Father, who art….” I quickly thought to myself, Methodists don’t say the emphatic “and ever” before the “Amen.” It was a beautiful service followed by a bountiful lunch.

My personal expectations for a good funeral or memorial service were met. Hymns were sung, the Scriptures were read, the Gospel was preached and Holy Communion was celebrated. Hospitality at lunch was gracious.

My own expectations have been formed by a lifetime in the church and years of experience as a pastor. I have officiated, been part of, or attended countless funerals. I know what seems right and fitting to me.

 

I am sure that everyone carries his or her own expectations into funeral worship. Those expectations may have been formed from their own church traditions or they may have been influenced by other sources. Once in a while the funeral of a celebrity or a dignitary may be televised. I watched Ron Santo’s funeral. From it one might surmise that all Roman Catholic funerals include eulogies and assigned seating.

People are also influenced by fictitious portrayals of funerals on TV and in movies. It is fairly easy to picture a grim-faced preacher in a flowing gown standing next to an open grave solemnly intoning the King James Version of the Twenty-third Psalm. In sitcoms the casket is always open and is surrounded by mountains of flowers and candles enough to resemble a forest fire. Think about the TV funerals that you can recall. Do any of them resemble what you have witnessed in the church?

We need to remember that many folks who attend funerals in our congregations come from other churches or have no experience with the church at all. They come out of respect for the deceased not knowing exactly what to expect, though they may have some preconceived notions. We need to be explicit in our instructions during worship and maybe even offer some commentary as we move through the liturgy.

Most people, including active church members, are not familiar with the funeral liturgy that we use. I think that is unfortunate. The funeral liturgy can and should be a source of comfort for those who mourn. But, it is hard for the liturgy to accomplish that goal if we are not familiar with it. As useful as funeral planning classes are, they never attract many people. I am wondering if it might be possible to incorporate portions of the funeral liturgy into what we do on an occasional Sunday. I might even be tempted to adapt the whole funeral liturgy for use on a Sunday. I think a congregation would hear the prayers and the Scripture readings much differently on a Sunday morning than it would at a funeral. The Good News can be hard to hear through the grief associated with a loved one’s death. However, I think we would all be better prepared if we went in knowing what to really expect.

Comments? Go to http://niselca.blogspot.com/ or comment on Facebook. --JC